We start out madly in love and our beloved can do no wrong. The hormones and our basic human instincts just kick in and cement us to our sweetheart. We dive in deeper & deeper to this romance - and decide to get married or commit to a long term partnership. Maybe you have kids to boot. And soon after, “life sets in” and the romance begins to fade.
The partner is starting to not be around as much to go do her own thing. Disagreements start to happen. Conflicts of needs become glaringly apparent. "Who is this person I am married to?” is the question that begins to arise for both.
We have now moved from romance to the power struggle stage of our relationship. This is just a natural progression of a relationship.
Sadly, many people have not developed the communication tools to get through this stage and end their marriage or partnership at this point. Couples can actually help one another through this process with skills and help each unearth old wounds and negative patterns to then get rid of them. Each grows – and so does the relationship. What emerges is a rich and lasting love between two people who know and appreciate who each truly is – and a willingness for each to evolve is born.
Harville Hendrix has written extensively about this subject after working with thousands of couples. This video just gives you a taste about these stages:
Kim Von Berg teaches tools to help couples navigate through this “rough terrain," so that they can step into a whole new level of love - and create a beautiful expansive relationship. She offers a number of programs for couples, including her famed 3 Steps to Create Extraordinary Relationships program. Take advantage of her offer for a free 30-minute consultation by clicking HERE!
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