Where Do We Begin as a Couple to Turn Our Relationship into a Joyful Expansive Romantic Partnership?
Couples often come to me with no clue how to take their relationship – that may be riddled with challenges & misunderstandings or just not quite where they want it to be - and turn it into a joyful loving passionate extraordinary one. I have a systematic process for this, but I will share that it always begins with a vision. I guide each in the relationship to create their own vision of what they truly desire for their love relationship.
I would like to share with you the vision process I have a couple do. First of all, I share with them seven crucial points to consider about what is a thriving loving healthy long lasting relationship to give them ideas to expand what they know to be possible.
If you & your beloved would like to create your own exciting vision for your relationship, study these points below that describe what makes for a truly healthy expansive partnership – and then, I will help you two to complete the vision process after outlining these points:
1) Those who are in a healthy thriving relationship honor the “I space” equally with the “We space.” That means that the relationship is valued & nurtured equally to developing our own selves as individuals. Both individuals are consistently growing – as well as the relationship itself.
2) We honor the “I space” by doing whatever inner healing work or emotional / spiritual development we need to do be able to step into our wholeness & completeness. Only when we can be in this place – our aware selves - are we able to be fully present to the “We space” with our beloved. And, of course, we do not expect perfection - and know that we still may get triggered. But, because we develop the capacity to hold our own selves & the other with such a degree of love & compassion, we don’t stay here for long and can avoid getting re-wounded by one another – and step back into our true aware selves quickly.
3) The “We space” is nurtured by regular expressions of appreciation & love, non-judgmental communication which includes deep listening - and authentic intimate connection (sex, touch, holding..) Of course, all of this implies that there is a commitment to consistently spending quality time with one another to do these things.
4) The “I space” is nurtured by a commitment to growth & discovery of what our greatest self is – and the skillful expression of our needs, feelings & desires. Such growth often includes exploring our spiritual selves but this is not a necessity.
5) We are now in a place to explore and step into our greatest self – and see the greatest self in our beloved (even when it is not obvious!)
6) Not only do each of us know our life purpose, but we create together a shared purpose for our relationship.
7) In recognizing such purposes, we create a shared vision of what we would truly love to create within the context of the relationship – and go about the business of creating this vision together!
You are now ready to create your vision! Take some time to ponder the above seven points of what makes a truly healthy extraordinary relationship with two emotionally mature adults. Such a loving partnership is a rich source of happiness and inspiration.
So, begin your visioning exercise by meditating upon the above seven points. And then, allow your imagination to start to dream about what you would truly desire in a joyful intimate healthy loving expansive partnership. With no holds barred, allow your imagination to run free in exploring what your heart & soul truly desire to experience in your partnership. Write down as many points as you can – and don’t worry if they are possible with your partner or not!
And, have your partner do the above process by his/herself as well. And, when you both have had an opportunity to do this – it is from here that you two can come together to share what you wrote – and come up with your intentions for your relationship. Of course, you may wish to reach out to a professional such as myself to get help to bring these intentions about!
I have seen hundreds of couples go from an "ordinary" or even good relationship to an extraordinary one. It truly is possible!